The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters. The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.
I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4
The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.
Sauron.
Isildur
Deagol
Sméagol
Bilbo
Frodo
Samwise
I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds
He held it for the rest of of his life!
[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.
From the ring’s perspective:
1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.
2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.
3. What the fuck is you?
4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.
5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.
6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop.
7. FUCK
8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally.
9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt*
you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!
TO ALL OF YOU LIKING THIS POST AND NOT REBLOGGING IT: HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT KNOWING YOU HAVE NOT SPREAD THE NEWS OF COMMENT FEST FAR AND WIDE??? BE THE SHOUTY LITTLE MAN RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS OF A MEDIEVAL TOWN DECLARING THE KING IS DEAD AND THE KINGDOM IS NOW RULED BY A COMMENT SKELETON THAT YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD
No offence but some younger queer people heard “nonbinary is not a third gender” and interpreted that as “no nonbinary person identifies as a third gender”.
And some people heard “nonbinary people are outside of the gender binary” and interpreted that as “no nonbinary person identifies as a binary gender. no nonbinary identifies as both 100% a man AND 100% a woman because that’s not outside of the binary”. (????)
And some younger nonbinary people seem to have internalised “well I’m nonbinary and I don’t feel that way so you’re wrong”, even though the entire point of being nonbinary is that there’s literally infinite ways to experience gender.
What I’m trying to say is, there’s an identity entirely built around not fitting into narrow boxes, and yet a hefty chunk of our own community seems hellbent on forcing us into boxes anyway.
Hi, this is a non-binary binary trans woman speaking (not a contradiction, “non-binary” applies to “binary” which then applies to “trans woman”)
I call myself a woman but the way my life experiences went combined with my autism resulted in a fairly complicated relationship with gender, to the point I used to relate to life stories of non-binary people way more than to life stories of binary trans women.
I also don’t see it that I was ‘always’ a girl, I could have been a boy at some point but I was never a man. I resonate with the approach of the reddit post which said “the gender I was assigned at birth was 'boy’, the gender I have right now is 'man’, and some boys grow into women.”
I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:
They were free.
They were fucking free.
They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.
Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.
Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.
At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.
In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.
Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.
That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.
